


battle of the gods

by Littlelionman15



Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:46:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27373672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlelionman15/pseuds/Littlelionman15
Summary: so i'm really just posting this for myself after copying it from wattpad bc it keeps crashing lol
Relationships: Hades/Persephone (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Hera/Zeus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore)





	battle of the gods

## battle of the gods

**_chapter one_ **

the air lay thick and tense in the athenean apartment bedroom. fury raged in cal's eyes and his breath shuddered as he gave every part of his will-power to contain the flames of hades that tore him up from within. 

"no" he glanced at the man who stood stoic against the wall. cal covered his mouth as if he were to contain a scream, shut his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose.   
peas of swet had begun coming out of his black locks and made their way down his forehead as he gathered strenght to look at hermes, whose golden suit of armor illuminated the wall around him. 

fox sat silently, never having seen calisthenes like this. his guts twisted and heartbeat raced at the sight of cal putting his hand around the messenger's neck. 

"you must be lying, you foul bastard." his voice changed and so did his vocabulary. it was as if the man whom fox knew had disappeared and the embodiment of rage that birthed wars had taken his place. 

his grip strengthened, the grimace on hermes's face shifting to discomfort. 

"cal!" fox finally interjected, worrying about the two olympians - one who was about to be killed, and another, whom he would know as a cold-blooded killer. "cal, let him go-"

"stay out of this, fox." cal says, "this is between the two of us." he spoke without even looking at him, who stood meteres away from them, holding onto the bedframe. 

"demigod" hermes's voice is cracking under the pressure of cal's hand, "i swear to you by the throne of goddess athena, i have spoken no lies. there is a war amongst the gods, led by father and daughter on opposing sides."

looking at fox as if to beg him to stop cal with the golden iris of his eyes no longer gleaming with harmony and abundance of the olympian pride, but with something that resembled fear - if gods knew of it - and terror that shadowed the arrogance he had when he saw cal, a demigod; a disgrace to their kind, the messenger of the gods continued. 

"the dethroned god zeus has joined forces with the god of the underworld. hades and the old king have taken goddess athena into the underworld, the realm of the undead.   
they intend to take back the throne and to banish her into the ruling of thanatos, the god of death."

fox gently puts his hand over cal's, horrified at the cold that has taken over it, and looking directly into his silver eyes, slowly unwraps its entangled fingers from the messenger's neck. 

hermes catches breath, falling to his knees as he does, and starts coughing. 

"we will get her back" fox says, wrapping his hands around cal's shivering cheeks.   
he wipes the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt, noticing the tears beginning to well in the eyes whose gleam made the glory of gold seem like nothing in comparisment. 

"all of olympus is divided, callisthenes of athena.  
there is a war raging and everything will be destroyed if you don't help us."

*

where there once lay a beautiful empire, one carved in marble and poised in glory fit for the gods only, now was rubble, tragedy and terror.   
temples had been destroyed; what lightning hadn't destroyed, the fires of hades have. everything that used to blossom in beauty as there was nowhere else, had now perished - demeter had taken her gifts away, ensuring the once paradise-alike olympus to be punished with an eternal winter of calamity. 

hermes had been leading the two into the temple of ares, who had taken his sister's side in the war. his was one still standing because it was away from the others, as if hidden from the damnation that had fallen over their world. 

"i'm sorry for what you had to witness." callisthenes said quietly, looking at his hands. 

"cal, you found out that your mother is held captive and your family is in a civil war - there's no appropriate reaction to that type of situation. plus, hermes has healed already."

he reaches out with his hand, looking for fox's. the younger stark takes it, intertwining their fingers and taking it to his lips, something that always draws a smile on cal's face. 

but now, there'd been no smile.   
"fox," he said, the grey in his eyes seeming like storm-bearing clouds above an undsteady sea,   
"you might see a side of me that i'm not proud of."

"i'm gonna stop you right there" he says, "because there's nothing in this or any other world that would make me think differently of you.   
you're still my favorite olympian strategist and earthly reporter;  
you'll always be my little demigod."

now awakens a smile. "and you'll always be my little lion man." 

*

"uncle ares" cal says as soon as they enter the temple.   
the god is at the head of a strategic table, looking at it with his red eyes. as soon as hears cal's voice, his trance-like state breaks and he rushes towards him and fox. 

"my nephew" he wraps his arms around him, pulling him in for a hug. he kisses him in the forehead quickly with his eyes glassy. then he sees fox, as cal is already approaching the strategic table and reunites with the rest of his family, and greets him. 

"i wish we reunited in a better world, fox."   
his red eyes gleam with a shine that you'd see on the pretties pair of rubies, and his black curly hair almost above them in beautiful curls. he looks restless with the dark circles underneath his eyes and the tired pace of his walk; the war that is tearing his family apart is taking its toll on him. 

"agreed" fox replies, "but we'll soon be in one."

the god of war draws out a faint smile.

**_chapter two_ **

thunder roams through the skies above us, the restless tides clashing against the shore like titans at war. 

"there must be another way" ares objects. his hands on the table, the fury in his red eyes gleams despite the defeat that has bestowed the room. 

"hephaestus, you are mad if you believe, even for a second, that there is a world or a realm in which i would let my sister and nephew be disgraced so that our father's pride can be satisfied."

cal speaks for the first time in a while. "i wouldn't have a problem with giving away my title and status, uncle. i would have a problem with disgracing the holiness of marriage, because my heart will never belong to his daughter. it would never stand beside her as it must for a marriage to be valid." 

his chest rises and sinks under the palm of my hand. ares looks at me, the thunder outside seeming less terrifying than the gaze in his eyes. "you love fox."

cal closes his eyes and i feel sudden heaviness on my shoulders.   
"yes" he replies. "with all of my heart and head." 

i take his hand into mine, looking him directly in the same, greyish eyes that stole my heart and never let it go since. i see the tears welling inside his eyes, the two sides of him - logical and emotional - tearing him apart as the moment to bring the decision nears. 

"cal" i whisper, and our eyes lock in a way that makes the superficial glance from earlier feel like faded fog; barely of any importance. 

_you can end a war_ , i whisper, _and no love should be more important than that_. 

"come with me for a second, please." 

the thunder fades into oblivion as we begin speaking. 

"i know that we promised to never let anything tear us apart once again, but this..."  
"there is too much on the table. your mother, your family, your entire world-"

"i can find a way to save mymother" he replies, "and with her safe, the only world i need is the one with you by my side. damned be olympus, damned the gods."

"we don't have time, cal!" my heart begins aching as tears fill out his eyes again. 

"you were my first love" i say, and he whispers his part - _and you will be my last_ \- "and our love will forever be my favorite memory, the same one that kept me alive after the horrors of heim. but for the love of everything that's holy, please, cal- please do this."

"if zeus rises to power, he will kill all demigods and every god that dared stand against him.   
damn it, cal, he will kill you - and i couldn't live another second if i knew you died because of my love." i say, cupping his cheek. my palm gently brushing against his silky skin, wipes away the getaway tear. 

"i am not worth a thousand lives" i say, hearing as the ending of every word i said shatters my heart further. 

the next time i look at him, there are seas of tears in his eyes, held back only by the strength of his will. "to me you are, my love." 

i trace the lines of his face with the tips of my fingers, allowing them to slide down every millimeter of perfection; looking at him is like looking at all good the gods have ever represented - hope, love, freedom and purity.   
his love is pure and untainted, stronger than anything i've ever felt, and yet every sliver of my being yells at my heart to abandon it - to abandon him - even though i know it'll break me. 

"i love you, cal." i say silently, wrapping my arms around him. the softness of his bronze skin brushes against the garden of thorns that grows within me as seconds pass. i sense their gaze - from the command room, all of their eyes are perched at us, which is why i make sure to memorize every second of what is about to unfold. 

taking his cheeks into my hands, i pull him closer and steal a kiss. looking at the moonlit shade of the most beautiful eyes i'll ever gaze upon, my heart shatters as i say:

"i love you, but we're over." shock engulfs his eyes in a crystalline veil. "the marriage must happen, cal - the war must be prevented - even if that means i'll break your beautiful and forgiving heart." 

"please" he whispers, the oceans of tears slowly starting to spill, "please don't do this, fox."

i stand before him, frozen as if i'd gazed upon the malicious eyes of a gorgon, my fists clutched before i take them to the back of my neck. 

_no, no, please_ , tears emerge from his eyes along with hurt that spills over his full lips as if it were the most disgusting taste he'd ever felt.   
i unlock the closing of my necklace - the very necklace with leaves of olive tree, made out of silver, that he'd been given at birth by his mother; the very necklace he'd given me at five in the morning when we watched the sun rise above athens in what seems to be another lifetime now. 

i take his hand, feeling its warmth as i craddle it in mine, and place the necklace into his soft palm, the same one that he held on my cheek that morning. 

"don't be a fool, cal. do it for your people; do it for your family." 

i close his hand, resisting every urge of my body to fall apart and instead of closing it, interlace my fingers with it - but i proceed. he looks at me once more, nodding slowly, but refusing to speak. 

soon, we enter the command room again. ares, now looking at me with mercy and sorrow within his scarlet eyes, thanks me siletnly. 

"if i may have your attention" cal wiped away the tears before announcing, "the marriage will happen. to end the war before it has begun, the two bloodlines of olympus will unite once again." 

cheer and clapping fill out the room, but he doesn't look joyous - he looks as if the burden he always carried on his shoulders has finally broken him, and once our eyes meet, even if its only for the shortest second, it breaks me as well. 

**_chapter three_ **

**_fox pov_ **

the beautiful melodies, produced by dozens of beautiful, young women playing harphs with delicate movements of their hands, filled out the room as i put down the crystalline glass on one of the many red velvet bar tables. 

i was already a bit tipsy when i headed to his room - not tipsy to the point where i wasn't in control of my words or actions, but just enough to numb the hollow inside my chest.   
the walls that lead to his room, where my date for the wedding, ares, was helping him prepare to marry the girl who had as little say in all of this as he did. 

i knock twice, quickly, before opening the door. in the very second our eyes meet, i come to the realization that i was nowhere near enough drunk for this. stormy clouds rage behind the glassiness of his silver eyes, a hurricane ready to destroy all in its path, as he looks at me through the reflection in the mirror.   
something inside my chest cracks wide open, letting all the hurt and pain and both the very heroism and nobility that i damned with every breath, flood my thoughts. neither of us speak. neither can; where pain finds its home, words of serenity have no place. 

it takes one look at both of us for ares to say "let me give you two a minute alone" and to head to the door, slowing down to put his hand on my shoulder as he passes by me and exits. 

now it's just the two of us. silence fills the room as he turns towards me, tears fighting with their hardest efforts in his eyes, and i have to bite the inner side of my cheek to stop myself from screaming. 

shades have nested themselves underneath his eyes, and no matter how strong the divine gleam on his skin had been ever since we sat foot on olympus, it couldn't hide the fact that he suffered. his suit is beautiful - the silver armour to honor his mother, gracing the eyes of the same color, paired with a cape of black and golden, the same color as his hair and the rings he used to wear when we first met; before all of the bad things that followed with the rebellion and losing his arm, and before...all of this. 

"well" he chokes back the very tears i cried myself to sleep in every night, "what do you think of the suit?"

i force a smile, and immediately wonder if i tried too hard as i notice him trying to do one as well, to ease my impression.   
"it's beautiful." it takes all of the strength i have left to stop myself from walking closer to him, from putting my hands on his hips and pulling him closer as i say you're beautiful and tracing my lips from his lips to his neck, from asking him to abandon the very people i convinced him to save by marrying the enemy's daughter. "it..." the words struggle in my throat, each breath a thousand thorns, as i force myself to say the bare minimum. "it really honors athena."

he smiles, faint and honest in the most beautiful way. _you'll never be mine_ , i say to myself, and _never again will i be yours_. 

i notice the golden laurel wreath on the coffee table next to the mirror, realizing how beautiful it will look on his olive skin and coal black hair, with its soft curls. 

"can you..." he swallows hard, as if his mouth is full of shards of glass and rusty nails, "can you help me put it on?"

i nod, with a lighter smile this time. its golden peaks dig into my palm when i pick it up and i hear the echo of a distant voice from them, speaking from afar as if to say: _you don't belong here, imposter. you'll never find another lover, never another destiny because to the end of your days, you will mourn him - the man who's more noble than you ever will be, whose sacrifice is to save his people while your heart wants him to stop it for your very selfishness_ , and not even an atom of my body disagrees.

standing beside him - one last time looking at the nape of his neck, against whose side i'd leaned my head countless times on a bad day, feeling the silk touch of his skin against mine and relaxing immediately. the scent of peonies - the very flowers associated with his mother - tingle my nostrils as i gently place the wreath atop of his head, nesting it amongst the soft curls through which i'll never again run my fingers. 

he looks perfect - always has - as i stand beside him. fighting all better senses, i put my hand on his shoulder and gently slide it down his bare arm, caressing the chiseled muscles all until our fingers meet and immediately interlace. it was a familiar feeling; a beautiful one. 

"she's the luckiest woman" i say, swallowing the bitterness as i retract my hand, "in the entire universe." 

he looks to me as if to say _she may be, but she'll never be the one i want to marry. she'll never be the one i want to spend my life with and grow old - you are_. 

"i think we're ready" i say eventually, heading towards the door but not exiting - he takes my hand and wraps his fingers around it to secure his grip. 

"cal, what are..." nausea begins churring in my stomach, "what are you doing?"

he presses his lips against my cheek and an army of shivers cascades down my spine. when i look at him, the barrier has at last broken; tears are falling down his ashen cheeks as our eyes meet one last time. 

"i'll never feel love again" he says, wiping them away, "not unless its with you." 

unable to hold myself together against the shaking of my knees and sickness that rose from the pit of my stomach, i rip my arm free and walk to the door, stopping only to see him fall to his knees. _i'll never live again_ , it comes clear as day to me, _not unless its beside you._

**_chapter four_ **

(at the wedding, the messenger of gods has announced that the proposal of peace through a marriage was nothing but a play; zeus would claim no holiness of the marriage once it happens - the only reason it needed to happen was to break cal's heart. as a punishment for revealing his secret plan, zeus appears in the middle of the wedding and kills hermes with a swift movement of his hand, and the messenger falls dead before fox's feet, blood slashing through his split throat.)

our eyes meet as if it was only us in the crowded room. cal gazes upon me, noticing the blood splashed across my left shoulder and side. 

"war is inevitable" ares grits through his teeth as if to announce to the guest that what was to be the beginning of a new life will turn into the destruction of many. 

calmly as possible walking towards his father, he says "you take my powers away, take the life of the messenger of the gods, take my sister hostage, but to break the hearts of these two young men - _to break them_ \- shows how truly merciless you have become, zeus." 

the king of the gods laughs, the crowd around him going silent, those closest to the doors seeking refuge from what would ensue. i glance at cal over his grandfather's shoulder, seeing his lips say _run and don't look back_ as zeus snaps back into place, his eyes white with rage. 

"my beloved son" he teased the god of war, "i shall do more than that to break the halfbreed's heart."

cal realizes something before i even have the chance to memorize what he said, and thus storms off from the aisle to stop his grandfather, but it's a beggar's wish - zeus stops him with a movement of his hand while he's still meters away, raising him into the air. 

"watch, filth on my bloodline" he says to cal, and it is then that i realize it - _every hope of this ending peacefully has ended along with hermes' life_. "watch why you and your stubborn mother should've bent the knee to me and my reign."

cal screams, begs and pleads, and i still don't understand it - not until it's too late; thunder rips the skies apart, making the middle of the night seem as if the sun were at its apex - and the god of thunder looks me dead in the eye, the most dangerous smile i've ever seen plastered across his face. 

he directs his hand from the skies towards me, and the next moments become a blur in my memory; cal screams in the distance, ares runs towards me - but both are unable to prevent the lightning from reaching my chest. 

it enters my body as a sharp pain, and as i close my eyes upon impact, i prepare for it to devour me, to burn me to what would be but ashes and dust.   
in what could be seconds but feel like hours, i try not to think about my death - i recall the warmth of cal's kisses on my neck, the feeling of his elegant hands around my waist.   
if this is to be my dying thought, then let it be him. let him be the last thing i ever see, hear and feel. 

then it happens; instead of it burning me, i feel it rushing through my veins like it used to when i was able to summon lightning with a single thought - i feel it boiling at the tips of my fingers.   
as i open my eyes, expecting to be blinded by the light, i'm welcomed by a bluish gleam in my hands. 

i'm not dead.   
i'm not dead. 

my eyes meet those of the king of the gods, and the fury vanishes from within them.   
i feel it under my skin as i land only meters before the mighty zeus himself. 

his grip around cal loosens and he falls from the air, as zeus vanishes singular moments before the lightning strikes from my hands and directly into the now empty wall of the temple, breaking and splitting the stone it meets there, rising back into the midnight skies after it's made a hole in the wall. 

the air is thick and the sound of lightning still shivers through it as cal heads towards me. there's blood tearing through a thin line next to his eyebrow, and the golden laurel wreath has fallen off upon impact. 

"you're okay" he whispers, his tone the child of wonder and relief, putting his hands on my cheeks and leaning his forehead on mine - for a second, because in the next he's already analyzing my neck, brushing his cold and shaking fingers against it, untying the first few buttons of my shirt and looking at the place where the lightning hit me, just to find nothing - no sign of injury. 

only then does he take a sharp breath, as if to allow the air to release the tightness and pressure in his lungs; only then does he wrap his arms around me, drawing me in and promising never to let me go as he utters _i could've lost you_. i wrap my arms around him, finding comfort in the silkiness of his skin as i brush against it. _you won't_ , i promise as tears turn my eyes crystalline, _not today - never_. 

i steal a second for ourselves. there's madness all around us - silhouettes are shifting, some tending to the deceased messenger, others dispersing to anyone else who was wounded, and all of them taking a second to look at us. calisthenes and the man who stood against zeus and trimphed; only then do i take a minute and realize what had actually happened.   
_i'm not dead._

"tonight" i whisper to his ear, his stubble brushing against my skin, "we celebrate." 

as he pulls out of the embrace, a faint light illuminates his face. he chuckles, catching breath as if only now was he able to take it properly for the first time tonight, and nods. "only you would face zeus himself and be willing to _celebrate_ afterwards. i love you." 

seeing ares approach from the distance, i return the sympathy with a quick kiss. 

**_chapter five_ **

"absolutely not" cal disagreed, throwing his hands in the air. "that won't be happening anytime soon!"

ares and i exchange looks of expected setback. "it might be the only way, kid." the red-eyed god says. "you saw the look on his face - he was surprised to say the least, terrified if we're being modest." 

"cal, you saw what happened; the lightning won't harm me -" 

"we can't be sure" he disagrees, standing across from me and the god of war, who is more than hellbent on saving his sister. "i mean, our leading theory is that lightning won't harm you because you once controlled it - who's to say that this immunity won't disappear at a random - hell, _deciding_ \- moment of the battle because you also willingly took the cure and erased your powers? maybe it too seeks vengeance and sees the perfect way to get back at you as frying your flesh and melting your bones?"

"okay, when you put it like that, it does sound bad." ares agrees, but i don't. 

"even if it gives up, i'll still be a new demigod, i'll have more control over my powers...or the lack of them. we have hope for the first time, cal. please understand." 

"i regret taking you with me here" he says, eyes glassy and lips sewn shut as the words part with them - no smiles, no smirks that made my chest tingle - save for the moments he speaks. "i really do." 

"don't you get it?" i continue, and he immediately rolls his eyes and throws his strong hands in the air. "we can actually win this battle now if i go through this!" 

"don't _you_ get it?!" he snaps, and for the split second when anger illuminates his silver eyes, not even the very lightning that struck me seems scary compared to them. 

"there's nothing on this earth, nothing on this damn mountain i wouldn't do, even if it meant going to the underworld myself and taking my mother out of his hands, to end this fucking war, fox, because i know that no matter what we do, there will still be losses - losses on both side, of good and strong people who had nothing to do with the source of the problem!

it kills me to know its because of me." he says swiftly, and continues before neither ares nor i can respond. "but the one thing, the single thing i will never do is allow you to take away your humanity for my people."

"it's not because of some ancient olympian pride bullshit, it's because i don't want to rob you of your humanity, and along with it - your mortality.   
i don't want you to watch everyone you love and know grow old and die, fox, just because you were too much of a hero to think about what consequences you will suffer once you become a new god."

_shit_ , i curse silently. he was right - if i became a new god, i'd lose my family; over time, all of them - tony, daisy, steve, baby sarah - would grow old and die and i would watch them breath their last breath.

"losing tony broke you once" he says more calmly, putting his hands on my shoulders and drawing me closer. cal rests his forehead on mine, saying "i don't want to put you through the very day i dread so much that i have to throw up afterwards - especially not multiple times."

_the very day i dread._   
the day, it comes to my mind bitterly, when i would grow old and die, and he still wouldn't look older than 25, even though we'd spent a lifetime together.   
the day, a bleak voice in the back of my head says it, when i die in his arms like everyone i love would die in mine. 

"now do you get it?" his voice cracks, and as the broken tone within it greets my ears, the strings of my heart wish to unravel. seeing him in pain, conflicted - strung up between two equally horrible decisions to bring - ties a knot in my stomach. 

"calisthenes is right" ares says, at last breaking the silence in the command centre.   
"your whole life, you've been a mortal. life as you know it will grow old and die around you if at the end of this you end up as one of us."

watching tony die has broken me once before; he's right. it created heim. watching him die again, this time along with daisy and steve and eventually with my niece - the consequences are something i'm not ready to think about. the thoughts battle within my mind, sending whatever serenity i'd found here into oblivion, but at the end of it, when i've brought it to the bare bones of the problem, the decision is easy: 

_save olympus or save my happiness_. cal will have a hard time forgiving me for doing this, but steel decisiveness that mirrors his own takes a firm stance in my eyes as i turn to the both of them and say: 

"initiate the ritual." their eyes turn to me, a storm of silver and red coming my way. 

"are you completely out of your mind?!" cal strikes. i bite back my words, knowing that he's right - i _am,_ i very much am out of it, but it's a decision my family will accept; it's one each one of them would bring, too. 

taking the athame from the table behind me, i lean its blade against the skin of my palm. all it takes is one look at his eyes to know that forgiveness will be hard to earn, but it - our peace - is what i am willing to give away. 

"mighty ares, god of war" i begin the oath that preludes the very process that may condemn me for eternity by cutting a thin line across my palm, "swear to me on the blade of your sword and the strength of your shield that you will guide me through the ritual of _i genesi ton theon_."

_genesis of the gods_ , the words sting my lips as they part with them. as blood draws from my palm and onto the table in front of us, a haunting look of pain that carves itself on cal's face, those silver eyes turning crystalline as they lock with mine; the soft lips turning into a thin, expressionless line that wouldn't have betrayed him, but his trembling chin gives the hurt away.

and as ares himself takes the blade from my hand and cuts his own, uttering his part of the oath in what become distant echoes in my ears, the preamble is done; tonight i part with my mortality, and tomorrow, we prepare for war - deities fighting shoulder to shoulder. 

**_chapter six_ **

he doesn't come to bed that night. 

it was supposed to be our night - our little stolen moment amidst a million horrors hanging over our heads like a perfect damocles sword - when i'd have him all for myself again just when i thought i'd lost him forever, yet each time i glance over my shoulder, his side of the bed is empty. 

the pillow still smells of him - lavender and peony, both now turning the crack inside of my heart into an endless pit of despair and disappointment. _he'll never forgive me for sacrificing myself_. 

the moon is far past its apex as i put my clothes back on and head towards the spot where i know i'll find him. he'll never forgive me - not now when i'd given away the chance to live my life with my family, given it away to save his. little does he know, there's no place under the sky in which _i_ could forgive myself for not using the chance to help him feel what tony and daisy made me feel like, not when all it costs is one man's happiness - even if it's my own. 

olympus fades into the night as i cross the border back into the mortal realm, the luxurious palaces and lavish lifestyles becoming but a distant whisper of an invisible world. 

walking the streets of athens, showered in moonlight and chatter of the streets, the only thing i feel is an overwhelming cold; looking at the same paths we walked together so many times, seeing our shadows as clouds pass in front of the moon and hearing our laughter in the masses, all i am able to feel is the emptiness - the gaping wound in my chest - in which the cold creeps in so easily in his absence. 

i find him leaned against a pillar of the parthenon.   
moonlight spills over the chiseled muscles of his stomach as the moonlight gently kisses the silky skin against which i ran my fingers countless times. he chugs on a bottle of whiskey as our eyes meet. 

a sarcastic snicker escapes his mouth. "what are you doing here?" the bitterness in his voice corrodes my heart. "i thought you belong up there now, since you're so gladly trading all of this for it." 

i clench my fists. "stop it, cal. you know why i'm doing this."

"because you're a goddamn fool" he says between drinks, looking at me with content like never before. "that's why." 

"i'm doing this to save the people you care about. i'm doing this so you can finally feel what i felt when i found tony and daisy - so you can feel what having a family feels like." 

the laugh he lets out isn't one of mockery; if i'd known him less, i wouldn't have noticed it, but now i clearly hear the pain in every sound of his voice. 

"and you lose your family in the long run." 

i keep silent. _i lose them_ , i wish to say but my pride doesn't let me, _but i still have you_. 

"and you know why that makes so much sense, fox? because you are so pathetic that you tear apart every chance at a happy life you get - because there are pieces inside you that are broken beyond repair, and every time someone tries to fix you, they end up bleeding and broken themselves because you break them as well" his words carve themselves into my memory, deeper than the memories of us i carried along as i walked towards the parthenon. 

"i mean, i would know - look at my hands." and as i do, i notice the burdgundy color slowly sliding down his fingers from the wounds on his knuckles. my eyes slide do the bloody pillars of the parthenon, smears of dark red splashed against their pristine surface.   
_he was letting his anger for me out on them_. 

the image of him hurting - of this man before me, carrying the face of the one i love the most but speaking words as poisonous as handfulls of belladonna - nests itself into the gaping hole in my chest. 

it takes me a second to break eye contact with him - with the man who held my hand when i was on my deathbed, whose now-bloody-knuckles i kissed when he had worried himself sick from the desire to be perfect for my family - but as i do, i take the ugly truth he served me and turn around, moments before tears emerge in my eyes. 

i'm not mad at him - not when all he said is the truth.   
a part of me knew it all along, that loving him as much as i do may have partially been due the fact that, through his eyes, i saw someone who wasn't broken - who could be mended - which was something i'll never see through my own. seeking self-worth through sacrificing myself for my loved ones just comes as a cherry on top of it all. 

my hands start shaking as i rush my pace, only for him to grab the right one and stop me. i don't turn around, not because i'm mad - i can't be, when all he said was true; i'm broken beyond repair by all life has given me, and the idea that his love could mend it was as crazy as coming out here to look for him - but because i can't stop the tears from coming. 

"i wanted to give away my immortality for you" he says softly. 

damned be the tears, i turn to him. the same are emerging in his own eyes, the glamour on his grey eyes making their color appear as hazel for the outside world, as they were when we first met, now soft under the moonlight. 

"that's not possible" i say, ripping my hand free, "and you know it. if you want to insult me, that's one thing, but if you want to lie to me about something like that, stop right away, because i swear to you on every god there is - i won't forgive you." 

his perfect facade cracks. his eyes glassy, he shakes his head, reaching for my hand again but i take it to my chest. "remember that time i had food poisoning, with those strawberries?"

i know he awaits for my response, but there is none - none because it takes all of me to find solid ground on the very stone i stand on. 

"my mother had asked zeus to give her what i wanted all my life - to be rid of my demigod status, because it has been but a curse to me through my whole existence. i started taking it in small doses, and for a few days, i was vulnerable and ... _human_. but then zeus got another idea, and instead of a second doze of the cure, i was given poison. 

so, yes, fox - it was me.   
i started the conflict that had all demigods brought here; zeus didn't want to cure us, he wanted to cure his world from us. i started the conflicts that have her kidnapped and the other gods enslaved.   
don't you see why i'm not worthy of your sacrifice?"

he takes my hand. "don't you see why i don't want you to lose everyone you love for me?"

i search a long time for the right words. but in the end, all i manage to say is: "why now?" 

"because i wanted to grow old with you" he says calmly. my heartbeat runs a thousand miles as our eyes lock and he takes my hand to his chest, placing it right above his heart.   
"i want it all with you, fox. i want to marry you and have kids and - and actually feel and treasure time, because i'd lie next to you every night knowing that it won't be hundreds or thousands of years before we meet again - i'd die when you do, once we're old and grey and still in love." 

i take my hand off of his chest, the once silky texture now feeling like sandpaper against open wounds. for a moment, we look at each other in silence; his gaze makes my blood rush, and i know - i know the love within me is stronger than the hurt, but i fail to fight it.

the thought of a life lived to the fullest with him by my side is a dream come true, or it was - until he spoke the words that made me realize the very truth that seemingly shatters the very stones beneath me. 

"you said it yourself - that'll never happen." the words roll off of my tongue lightly, "i'm far too broken to be loved and you hate yourself too much to be loved by someone like me." 

"please- please listen to me" he reaches for my hand once again, but this time i don't allow it; i take one last look at him, at the same eyes i grew to love more than my own family. 

"i'll help you save your mother, cal." every word is battling tears, every breath harder than the previous. "but after that... i think we should part ways." the words are heavier on my heart than they are on my consciousness - a silent pressure is spliting my chest open, for him to see the pain that lives there. 

"you deserve all the things you listed, cal. you do - with someone who can love you as you deserve, not someone who's been broken far too many times to be put together to give love as it should be given." 

my chest caves in as he comes closer. the smell of alcohol lingers on hips lips as he takes my hands again. "i don't want anyone else, fox." he whispers, "i can't see myself with anyone else."

"neither can i" i confess silently, biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself from tracing my fingers against the perfect lines of his face, ending with my hand at the back of his neck and his lips against mine. "let's go back to olympus - tomorrow will be turbulent." 

"it won't" a familiar voice replies, and upon turning our heads towards it, our eyes are met with ares. i look at the moonlight-kissed curls of onyx black hair that fall over his forehead, accompanied by the strong stubble and a proud nose. his eyes aren't red in the mortal real - they're the most beautiful shade of blue i've ever seen, their color mostly resembling the first dashes of blue in the morning sky. 

"we got some backup" he says, a flirtatious smirk at his lips. 

**_chapter seven_ **

cal reaches for my hand as we pass the barrier and both his and his uncle's eyes lose their glamour and are once again silver and red, respectively. i don't embrace it - despite all of me wanting it so badly - and instead, push my hands into the pockets of my jacket. 

the three of us ascend the stairs as sun rises in the olympian realm, heading to the temple inside the mountain in which we reside, silence among us. i have to bite my tongue every now and then to stop myself from speaking, and seeing the marks of tears and the dam in his eyes on cal's face doesn't help the cause. 

as we enter the main room, we're met with two figures i don't recognize - a man and a woman, one in gold and the other in silver; they have the same chestnut-colored hair, his in soft curls gracing the soothing lines of his face and hers weaved into a braid that sits around her her head like a crown. his eyes are golden, like the gleam of his richly tanned olive skin, and hers are a silver brighter than cal's, like the moon itself, with her skin radiating the same glistening light that the stars on the night skies do. 

then it dawns on me; they're siblings. _the_ siblings - apollo and artemis. the sun and the moon, the healer and the huntress. 

"you don't need to bow" she says softly, a faint smile across her blushing lips. 

"please don't take my sister's words as an invasion of privacy" apollo says softly, a gentle grin on his perfect lips.   
"we can read the thoughts of humans" her brother adds, "but only when we're side to side like this and their minds are unprotected. " 

i feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as i swallow bitterly. "it's my honour" i say nevertheless. 

cal's tears have dried, i notice as he softly walks past me and embraces them. they're his family - the one he wants to give up for me. 

as they talk for a second, ares pulls me to the side. 

"i didn't mean to eavesdrop out there" the red gleam of his eyes is not menacing - he may be the god of war i heard countless stories of, the merciless warrior and troublemaker, but beneath all of that lies the man i met; the caring brother, the kind uncle. "but the two of you need to sort out your problems before we head into the underground. we need to represent a united front and have each other's backs down there when the battle commences, because if we don't -"

"we stand no chance against them" i finish, and the god of war agrees with a nod. 

"i do love him, you know?" i say as we head back to the family reunion.

he chuckles. "i know, and so does he. all of olympus does, too - you stood against zeus for him. it's a pretty ballsy move - and one that can only be fueled by something as invincible as love."

*

the family gathers together for an early dinner, which is to be followed by strategy and war-planning, led by cal and ares respectively.

artemis told the reason they'd arrived here today as the cooks set the table. 

"we're messengers" she says, "my brother and i have been held in the underworld along with the other gods - neither of us willing to leave until we know our sister is free.   
seeing as he's killed hermes, zeus ran short of someone to work on communication between the realms, so he sent us to tell you that tomorrow, you" she talks to ares and cal, while apollo takes glances in my direction with a soft smile, "will have a chance to free her and at last, end this war once for all of eternity." 

cal sits quietly, the food before him chilling - as it does on everybody else's plates, since apetite isn't somethin many have had ever since the war begun - and only asks, voice silent and plagued with the feeling of defeat: 

"how is she?"

artemis sighs, and her brother takes the talking up to himself. 

"her and persephone are both in tartarus" he confesses shamefully, as if to blame himself that he didn't do anything to help, unable to look either of the two in the eye, so he sticks to the fork in his hand. "which is why hades has sided with our father - the life of his wife is on the line.   
but your mother is strong, calisthenes. she's always been the strongest among us - nothing that tartarus does can harm her - not when she knows that she has an army led by her son, coming to her rescue."

cal nods simply, saying nothing in return. as ares continues talking to them, asking about other gods, giants and nymphs, i slide my hand underneath the table of spotless, white marble and find his fingers.   
gently, i brush mine against him for a second - as if to ask for permission, because i don't know on what grounds we're standing on, but what i do know is that i'm not letting him go through this alone.   
as a response, he reaches for my hand and interlaces our fingers. a faint smile draws itself with the satin lips i'll dream of every remaining moment of my life.

as we return to reality, becoming aware of the talk around us, i notice the tension between the siblings - cal does too. "what's happening?" he asks what i am thinking, demanding answers as he runs his silver eyes over every face on the table. 

"that plan is dangerous" artemis replies, aiming her hand at ares. apollo remains silent - deep in his thoughts as we were moments before. 

"it's a good plan" the god of war replies, "and it's our best shot." 

"instead of becoming a god like us, fox will only become a demigod for as long as we are in the underworld. that way, he keeps his mortality, we win this war and get our sister back."

"why didn't we think of that option before?" i ask, but apollo replies instead. 

"becuase the ritual requires three gods and a mortal" he says, "and he couldn't do it without my sister and me. 

"to whom will he bind him?" she asks, and ares replies immediately. 

"to me" he says, now turning to me. "you and i are already _bloodbound_ since last night and our promises, so once we descend to the underworld, we'll be the same - demigods.   
my immortality will flow through your veins and give you what we need to face him and take him down."

"uncle ares, that's a horrible idea" cal proclaims, "that way, you'll be vulnerable. zeus will be counting on that, and he'll-"

"he can't kill me" ares says, "not when thanatos and hades will reject my soul now that we know they're on our side."

"still" i interject, "doesn't that put you at risk of being bound to the underworld?" 

"it does" artemis replies. "but he is clearly not thinking of his own well-being here, is he?"

ares pulls a charming grin. "well, it's never too late to redeem myself from centuries of being nothing but trouble and headache for all olympus, is it?" 

apollo takes his hand. "not like this" he says softly. "never like this, brother."

cal turns to him, almost beggingly saying "i can't risk losing you, uncle. you're the closest thing i'll ever have to a father. please - we will find another way."

"what if..." i start, and all eyes trail towards me. the goddess of hunt raises her eyebrows in swift concern, ares already prepared to dismiss whatever i'm about to say, while apollo and cal look at me as if i were their last hope. then it dawns on me - i _am_ their last hope _,_ because they're all ready to sacrifice themselves for cal and athena _._

"zeus is counting on ares and i being bloodbound, but there is a way to sever the link, right?" 

"yes" she replies, "but that leads us back to the beginning - makes you a mortal man toying with the Fates. it plays directly into his favor." 

"not if the bloodbinding can be done with a deceased god as well." 

they all look at me, eyes wide open. "hermes" apollo reads my thoughts, sitting for a moment before he replies. "it never has been, but... in theory, it's not impossible." 

"our energy doesn't die with us" artemis adds on. "our anthropomorphic bodies may die, but our energy is returned to those who came before us." 

"that's dangerous" cal takes my hand. i look him in the eyes, the steady silver now loosened - emotional as we lock contact. "it's still a dead body." 

"i can help with that" the god of the sun says, "i'll heal the blood that rests in the messenger's body. i'll make it clean and safe for your lover to intake, calisthenes." 

i glance at apollo, a comforting smile on his lips. his golden eyes gleam with a beautiful energy - healing in its very presence, calming to the point where my heartbeat stops skipping beats at the thought of what comes tomorrow.

the conversation between the gods continues - they talk of the strategy behind our descend, but i notice that cal's eyes don't focus on them. he's not listening to their speech; my lover, as apollo named us, has dozed off, nested deeply in the middle of the warzone within his mind. 

i take his hand, our fingers intertwined, and lead him to the balcony. the sun is setting, painting the divine realm in the colors of a slumbering star - showering them in shades of orange, pink and red - as the two of us take all of it in. 

"i'm sorry" he says gently. "the things i said... they were horrible." 

"they weren't, cal. don't feel bad about it, please." 

"the reason i said them was my wish to turn you away from all of this madness. to save you from it - to save you from unnecessary suffering. but then i saw the tears in your eyes, and my heart... it broke. i had done that, i -"

"you have mended it." i say. "you have made me whole again. you didn't break me."

he's silent for a minute, leaning his head against my shoulder. "promise me you won't play hero tomorrow."

i take his hand to my lips, a kiss between every knuckle. "only if you do too."

"i can't lose you, fox."

as a gentle wind brushes against our skin, i move my lips to his ear and whisper a soft promise. _you won't_ , i say, _just like i won't lose you_. 

**_chapter eight_ **

we spent the rest of the night together.

sometime around midnight, with my head nested on his chest, held tightly by his arms, wanting to take in his scent and touch and warmth and heartbeat in as if it were the last time we're next to each other. the feeling of his skin wasn't silky anymore - every hair on his body had risen in silent terror. 

he kissed the top of my head with every passing thought - no doubt each a worse scenario of how things go wrong horribly today, every one of them bone-chillingly more maddening than the previous - and slid his hands across my back, across the scars i bore from the hydra base, across the badly healed scars from the battle of seattle, as if he wanted to remember the feeling of every imperfection.

"do you still want it?" i ask silently, my lips against his chest. i trace them up his neck and onto his own, pressing them gently enough to steal some of their warmth, shivers dancing down my spine as we part. 

i look him in the eyes, and it's as if he already knows. "i do" cal says, "when we save my mother... there's nothing i want more, my dear."   
he plays with a strand of my hair, letting it go just to trace his thumb over my cheek. 

"maybe we can buy a little bakery somewhere in new england. or a flower shop - i never could decide."   
the words begin to bear a burden too heavy for my eyes to carry without tears, so i continue as silver begins rimming my eyelids with warmth. "i want to wake up next to you every morning and thank whatever god is listening for every moment i spent with you, cal. i want to grow old with you, and walk the coast on early autumn days with your hand in mine."

"and you will" he promises, his voice silent, but his silver eyes screaming at all the forces in the universe that tie the red string of fate between two individuals. "we'll have all the time of the world just for the two of us. also, i think we should go for the bakery - the idea of seeing you with flower over these cute cheeks and dough in your hands... it's one i dare myself to dream of." 

i don't reply - not with words. a silent, teary-eyed kiss seals the promise. 

*

_we are to leave at dawn_ , ares warns us with one knock and a loud reminder at our door when the clock strikes two. _rest_ , a silent and steady command follows. 

around three, cal falls asleep, and i wander off onto the main balcony to see the moonlight for what could be one last time - to see the city of olympus before it's too late to be saved. 

"it's beautiful, isn't it?" a familiar voice appeared from behind. i knew it even without seeing his beautiful face, without noticing the solar gleam of his skin illuminating the night around us. 

"it truly is fighting for." 

apollo stands next to me, dimming some of the sparkle as he rests his hands next to mine on the balcony. i notice a flower tucked behind his ear, beautifully elegant - standing proud and upright with its colorful petals. _a hyacinth_ , i recall from a distant memory; just like in the myth..

"yes" my thoughts have been louder than i intended, since he heard them as if they'd been spoken. "i wanted to apologize for staring at you during dinner tonight. the reason, although it may seem silly to you, was because seeing the two of you reminded me of the times when i still had him by my side, when i was learning the purest art of healing - _love_ \- as you are now with my nephew."

"it's not silly" i say silently. "it's beautiful - in a tragic way. i can't imagine life without him, for i know that in every pair of grey eyes, i'd look for his, and that in every scent of lavander, i'd long for his scent being the most beautiful amongst them, and yet i know i'd be heartbroken when he'd be nowhere to be found." 

a gentle smile draws itself on apollo's moonlit lips. "you understand me, fox cooper." 

_too well for my own good_ , i say to myself. 

"you love him not for he enables you to see a version of yourself worth loving" the god of the sun and healing says, "but because his thread of fate is intervowen tightly with your own - because the two of you were destined to be. you love him for who he is, my little dreamer, and for whom you'll cherish until the end of your days." 

my heartbeat threates to shatter my ribs and skin - for it to jump out with pounding - as i realize the truth of his words. _you're right_ , i keep to my thoughts, knowing he will hear them _, and i am grateful for the reminder. it's just too good to believe sometimes_.

he draws for his left hand, gripping something on his ring finger. when he reveals it to me, i stand in awe of its beauty - a band of golden and red, both colors intertwined around a small, black stone, with freckles of diamonds coating every ridge. 

"i will deliver the second one to calisthenes when he wakes up" apollo says. 

"it's beautiful" i say, accepting it into my hand. unlike the laurel wreath, it doesn't feel strange - it feels as if it was something i'd lost a long time ago, and had finally been reunited with it. 

"that one used to be mine" a pain fills out his comforting voice, "and the other one - the one cal will receive - belonged to hyacinthus. when i was away, all he had to do is concetrate on that ring and the bond between us had been awoken; i could hear his heartbeat and his thoughts, feel his love for as long as i held mine tightly. it will do you good in the underworld, since we're separating upon arrival." 

words fail me as i gaze into his golden eyes. "th...thank you" is all that manages to escape as i embrace him. he's giving us the same rings him and his lover held to their hearts.   
he's giving us a spark of light when there is none. 

"i don't know how i can thank you enough." i whisper. 

"love him" apollo responds, embracing me tighter, "the way i would've loved mine if he was still here today." 

with the heart that rests in my chest, i promise. 

**_chapter nine_ **

"do i really have to drink blood?"

apollo chuckles. "you're a mortal - to you, it should tast the same as ambrosia does to us." 

"it's still blood. that was in a dead body." i say, looking at the dense, golden, shining liquid following the movements of the glass as i shake it lightly. 

"the only other way is to inject it into your... peach" ares says, trying to surpress a smile. 

"what. the. hell" 

"well directly into the bloodstream would be dangerous because it's divine blood, and the _peach_ has enough muscle to dilute it. if you want to, we can arrange for an injection. wouldn't recommend using the bathroom afterwards though." 

whether it be amusement at my twisted-in-horror-and-awe face or just irony at the entire situation, it makes the gods share a laugh. the blood in my glass seems to react too, twisting and heating up - it must be due to the proximity of this many deities. 

"i promise to you" artemis says, taking my hand, a laugh still lingering on her lips, "that it will be over before you know it."

"well, here goes everything" i whisper as i press it against my lips. 

as i drink it, warmth fills every corner of my body where the blood goes - i'm no longer cold or shaking, and neither of the two feelings seems like something i can remember; it's as if the sun has coated me in armour over every inch of my skin. it tastes sweet as its last remnants slip down my throat - comforting even. 

"that wasn't too bad" i say. 

"told you" apollo says, extending a hand. "welcome to divinity!"

taking his hand feels as if the entire universe around me is slowly shaking as it adjusts to this temporary reality - smells are more intense, my eyesight sharper - every color is more vibrant, each of their faces even more breath-taking, looking as if they'd been carved out of the finest and most glorious marble, and last, but not least... every touch is a thousand times more intimate. 

that's why, upon scenting lavender, i release apollo's hand with a grateful gesture and rush to the hallway. 

i hear a faint chuckle as i leave the room, hearing my own heartbeat loder than ever before; as it pulses through my body, every emotion heightens, each memory of us in bed coming up all at once as i catch his eyes. he greets me, but no words come from my lips - they're busy doing something else. 

the kisses begin at his lips, and as i feel the pulse of his heart as i press them against his, every restraint is a distant memory; i wrap my hand around his neck, pulling him closer in one minute and pushing him against the wall with my whole body in the other. 

with my eyes shut, i let this new urge within me lead the way - our fingers intertwined and above his head with him pinned against the wall and me against him, allowing myself to take in and admire every shade of silver and violet that appears before what the eyes would see; it must be a new sort of sight. 

the rings on our fingers are what stops us - they turn on, allowing a myriad of thoughts - that are better left unspoken of - into each other's head, creating the bond apollo talked about; the bridge between our minds, held by our heartbeat.   
that, and apollo coughing from the threshhold.   
my heart is racing and so is cal's, his eyes set wide open in awe and the silver in them seeming more intense and beautiful than it ever did before - to the point where i see my own reflection on them, and the gold that rims my own now. 

"well" he says, catching breath as he pulls up the collar of his shirt, "that's a new way of saying good morning."

i chuckle at the words, noticing how much more beautiful his voice sounds now. it's the sweetest mellody i ever heard - the only one i want to listen to until the end of my days. 

not looking at us, but with a broad smile barely contained on his lips, the beautiful god of healing and poetry simply says: "ares demands you be present in our last strategy meeting. clothed, preferably."

*

"we separate upon entry" the god of war says. 

his soldiers are bringing our armour into the room - and on each of theirs, i recognize whose it is by the cloaks that accompany the main chest and abdomen pieces; crimson and mighty for ares, moonlight blue and white for artemis, golden for apollo, and for cal... it's not his own, i realize, because demigods weren't seen as worthy of a color being chosen for them, so instead of a personalized one, he gets a cape as silver as his eyes - his mother's. 

he realizes it as well, and once our eyes lock, i don't see shame - i see pride and glory, fortitude and bravery, all fit for the one to bear her sigil. 

for myself, it's not that of a hoplite as i had expected; it's the armour of a royal athenian soldier, black chest and abdominal shields, paired with complimentary, body-shaped pants of the same color, at which's sides i see where one shielding material ends and another begins.   
the same material makes up the sleeves as well - leaving only my head and hands bare. 

it's armor for a man who'll face a god full of rage; a shield at every vulnerable point is the least i could wear. its cloak is black, the color of the toga cal had been forced to wear at what was supposed to be his execution; the color of mourning. 

_there will be no mourning_ , cal says down the bridge. 

_no_ , my reply echoes, _only celebration and the beginning of our happy ending_ , to which he nods quickly, and continues where ares stopped with presenting the strategy. 

"once we cross the river styx, artemis and i will head for tartarus. apollo's chariots will take the three of you directly to the throne room - to the twisted kingdom."

"when zeus notices, he'll strike immediately - he won't hesitate. that's where you come in, kid" ares says. "you be our lightning shield, and we'll fire the killing blow - it's poetic justice to have a father killed by his son, like chronos feared zeus would and _has_ done."

i feel it rumbling beneath my skin, as if it's looking for a pore to shine through - the power. it occurs to me that i may not need to only be a conductor for his lightning; i might be able to produce my own again.

artemis adds onto her brother's idea. "it should be her who delivers the final blow, brother. it should be at his favorite daughter's hands that he dies." 

cal agrees, and so do i - we all do. 

and like that, the meeting is finished; the soliders help us wear our armour, and once it's done, while i'm looking at my palms. there's energy underneath them - i feel it.

i don't know the story of hermes that well, but whatever spark of power it was in him, is now slowly and surely awakening what once used to be mine, as if they were chanting a single word over and over again: _lightbringer_. 

**_chapter ten_ **

the entrance to the realm of the underworld is a temple of black stone. it's pillars stand tall and mighty, carved out of onyx colored marble, supporting the door that seems to swallow all warmth and light that comes its way. 

i intertwine my fingers with his a few meters before we approach the temple. it only comes to my knowledge now that this could be the last time i hold his hand - that this plan is far more dangerous than i realized; the unded descending into the underworld, the fight against zeus, who's been deprived of what little sanity he ever had and is not willing to play fair, and cal's journey to tartarus - to the place of eternal fucking torture. 

_it will go smoothly_ , he assures me. _you know that i'm a skilled warrior and that i'll have the goddess of hunting watching my back_. 

_tartarus stands no chance against you, my love_. he clutches my hand firmer as the words run down the bond. as i look at him, at the soft curls dancing on the dusk breeze from the sea, it's something in the softness of his grip that relaxes the knot in my stomach - as if it pulls an invisible thread that ensures ease to my restless thoughts. 

"this is it" ares says. "pray to who or whatever you believe in, for all help is welcome."

the smile on his brave, handsome lips is nothing short of tragic. the crimson glint of his eyes faded as soon as we left the palace - realization must've hit him too, if not even harder than it did me. 

as we enter the temple in a formation, i feel a chilling wind on every part of my body that is bare - realizing that this cold would've stripped my body of all warmth and life if it was still mortal. _there's a reason mortals don't go down here_ , a voice tells me. i don't recognize whose it is, whether it is male or female, young or old; all i know is that shivers cascade down my spine as it speaks again, _and there is a reason you shall fail_. 

as the doors unlock before the three gods, i kiss him on the cheek because a kiss on the lips would be too painful - too real, too stark of a reminder that it might be the last - and whisper softly. 

_don't play the hero_ , i tell him. _i don't need a hero, and neither does athena - we need you_. 

he leans in for a kiss as well, but unlike me, he is no coward - placing his other hand at the back of my head, sending warmth on the bare nape, and pulling me in to be greeted by his soft lips. the chills that were melting down my spine disappear in less than half of a second; they're replaced by a familiar, loving warmth. 

_i swear to you on her life_ , he replies silently. _i will stick to the plan_. 

a realm of hellfire and harshness awakens before us, the charred road beginning where the door ends and leading down a hill that descends in circles - i see nine of them from where i stand. even before we enter it, i hear the rumbling of the river beneath the hill; it's the river styx, where we'll part our ways as the three of us go to the twisted palace while cal and artemis follow the river to its southernmost part. 

upon passing the threshhold, i felt a force pulling me inward - a mortal entering the underworld, it has never gone well. the flicker of power within me resists it and keeps me warm as we enter the underworld; instead of the scorched lands and blood-red skies i imagined, a vast, cold landscape awaits before our feet, the endless world before our eyes painted a light shade of blue. 

there's no sun, no clouds; just the overwhelming feeling of damnation looming from every direction. as the goodbyes begin, cal and i don't share words - just a kiss full of love and longing, a promise of his return and our future together that makes my heart beat stronger. 

i hold his hand until the last moment, but as apollo's chariot approaches, strung along by his golden horses, the time for departure has come. i try to memorize every line of his face, every curl of his beautiful hair, every shade of silver in his eyes. _it won't be the last time_ , i promise to myself. _i'll see him again_. 

the goddess of the hunt and the son of athena begin their descend, and so do we; as we board the chariot, apollo holds his horses for a few more moments before we start moving. 

"fox, there is something you must know" he says. 

both ares and i look at him. gripping the golden chariot with one hand, he turns to us, saying: "the night i went to take and heal the blood of hermes... it'd been too late. his blood was black, and having it in your system would kill you - rot you from inside."

my stomach sinks. ares seems to realize it too mere seconds before i do - the golden circles of my eyes, the warmth, the healing and comfort i felt while drinking it, the feeling as if the energy was looking for an exit in my body to escape - _shine_ \- through. 

"it was your blood" i say, and he nods. "the reason i'm telling you now is because with hermes, you could've had his speed and agility - you could've counted on that."

"you did the right thing, brother" ares says, putting a hand on the god's shoulder. 

the power brewing within me seems to agree, and so do i. "you're the god of healing" i say, "and whatever flicker of your power rests within me... i think it's awakening my own powers again."

they both look at me, but it's the god of war who asks. "you will be able to summon lightning?

"i'm not sure - but i have the same feeling under my skin. whatever it is, it will be useful."

"it will" apollo agrees, a faint smile on his lips as he raises his hand and the horses of gold begin running. 

maybe that was his plan all along, i realize. maybe he knew i stood no chance against zeus without my powers, and he already knew hermes was too far gone for his blood to be harvested, so he proposed it to ares knowing the outcome it would lead us to.   
he seems to confirm it with a nod when i look at him, our eyes locking for a brief moment.   
  
_i hope you can forgive me for being dishonest_ , he says.   
_if anything, i should be thanking you_ , the words echo down the bond he created. 

as we near our destination, a the outline of a castle is visible on the far horizont. its six twin black towers loom over the land on which they stand like watching eyes - eyes of a predator, a force so ancient that the blood in my veins wishes to freeze along with the landscape.   
the building is grotesque - made of black stone, like the temple, and every bit of it that i can see is fit for a god of the underworld to rule in; every bit awakens fear within me. 

snow begins falling as we come closer. i feel a pull on the bond, a sense of anxiety and dread overwhelming me. anger, too - it comes in flashes, along with the feeling of cold filling me out from the inside, chilling enough to freeze the blood in my veins.   
they're not my emotions, i realize; they're his. 

_what's wrong?_

a minute passes before he replies, and my heart begins racing. all of the worst scenarios are coming up - hades was forced to unleash cerberus upon him; zeus captured him, or the one that pushes the air out of my lungs: he got trapped in tartarus himself... 

_the guardian_ , he replies at last, his voice shaking, _he was not supposed to be here.  
he'll ask for a sacrifice_. 

relief eases my tensed muscles; some of the warmth from within my chest is released down the bond to greet him _. what kind of sacrifice?_

_the thing i value the most about myself._ he waits for a few seconds to pass, as if he is to pull the words from a sea of molten steel, each of the four like a dagger stabbed into my heart as i hear them: _my love for you_. 

the breath i inhale sharply must've been louder than i intended it to be because both gods turn to me, their eyes widened in a mix of shock and fear. the horses stop, and seemingly the entire world around us does too. 

"the guardian of tartarus" my words sound distant even to myself, as if i've left my body there and have gone to wherever cal is right now. "he demands a sacrifice from cal." 

ares curses, many words in languages i don't recognize. anger paints his face in a dark, dangerous expression - one that would make my stomach twist if it hadn't fallen down into tartarus itself - which makes it clear as day to me: he isn't just cal's uncle - he's the god of war, and damned will be those who've awaken his wrath. 

"our father wants to take his love for you away." the words spill from apollo's pale face, "that's why the guardian is there - must be." he catches my gaze and for a second, as the tears fill his soft eyes, i see something within him breaking. he knows what's at stake - and how unfair it is. 

_do it_ , i send down the bond as something in my between my ribs begins cracking open.   
_accept the sacrifice_. 

_but if i do,_ his voice is shaking and trembling, as are my feet as the next part confirms what the flicker of apollo's power has already told me _, it'll take away my love for you. all that we've had, all that we've promised to have-_

_i know,_ the words sting my lips even though they're unspoken on them, _but we both know what needs to be done: it's our love or the fate of all olympus_.

a surge of emotions come my way. sadness, heartbreak, pain - they flood me until warm tears begin rimming my eyes and sliding down my cheeks. 

i struggle with what to say, what more to do to encourage him to take away the one thing i grew to love about myself and to trade it for the life of his mother.   
apollo and ares look away as i sit down and lean against the wall of the chariot, focusing on an unclear point in the distance - which all looks the same to me now as tears cloud my eyes. 

_i'm not worth her life, cal,_ i remind him _._ the impact crack on my heart begins spreading _.  
i'm certainly not worth more than everyone on olympus. _

_to me, you're worth more than anyone's life._ i feel the bitterness of his words, the pain that hangs on every letter.

_the next time you see me,_ he says _, i'll be somebody else - you'll be a stranger to me.  
it comes to my realization that it perhaps might be better that way, because god knows i could not look you in the eyes after this betrayal. _

_it's not a betrayal, cal. it's the right thing to do._

_that doesn't make it any less painful._

_no, i reply, it doesn't._

silence coats the bond for a long, gut-wrenching moment. he was never to be mine, it comes to me as bright as day. he was never meant to be my future - and that is probably for the best, because i destroy everything i hold dear, and it would be a matter of time before it would be him i destroy. 

_i'll love you in the next life_ , he promises, _and in every one after that_.   
_i'll love you with my dying breath_ , and breaks my heart, _even if i don't know who you are_. 

i have no strength, no words to send down the bond as i recall the touch of his skin against mine, the feeling of his lips kissing my forehead after he gives me his cover and tucks me in every morning and makes sure i'm not cold. his voice is a distant memory, his love a forbidden dream, sealed away by the importance of their lives. 

when i grip the edges of the chariot to stand up, my knees fail me as a stabbing sensation ripples through my chest. no restraint in the whole world could hold back the loss, the pain, the scream i felt in that moment - and my lips were but human underneath it all, so they screamed. 

they screamed, cried, mourned and wept as he was torn from my arms, all the warmth in my body gone as i clung to my chest as if to keep whatever of him is still in there, keep it only for myself and to not fall apart, but as i realize he's gone - truly gone - it feels as if where my heart once rested, now was only ash and blood. 

apollo's arms find me as the light fades from my eyes. 

**_chapter eleven_ **

the cold crept underneath my skin by the next time i opened my eyes. it took me a few seconds to recognize my surroundings, to realize it wasn't all a bad dream, and to feel the pain in my chest once again, no less intense. 

"can you stand up?" ares lays his hand out, and i nod, using it to push myself back onto my knees. the anger that lit his face in the dangerous shade of crimson beneath his strong eyebrows has simmered down to something more deadly - something i myself am starting to feel. 

apollo looks at me with tears in his golden eyes, and as he's about to speak, i lay my hand out. no apologies - no mourning of what was lost, what will haunt me until my last day; i want none, because i know that the spark of anger i've clung to will be put out by the tears i'm holding back. 

instead of words, i glance at my ring, finding silence as i touch it - the bond is gone. my fingers are shaking as i grip the gold and red on the ring, both of which awake not love, but emptiness as i push them off of my finger. the sound it makes upon falling on the metal echoes in the hole that rests in my chest now, all until apollo takes it. 

i don't look at him; tears aren't what i'm looking to hold on to.   
instead, i look at ares, angrier than i've ever seen; and rightfully so, i take on that anger myself. 

where once were tears, now was anger, as hot as molten iron.   
where once was pain, now was a goal.   
where once was love, now was a weapon. 

*

the twisted court is empty upon our arrival. anger ripples through my whole body, allowing adrenaline to bleed into every vein - until i no longer feel the unsettling presence of fear in my gut, not when what i feared most has come true; i've lost him.   
instead, there is only anger and rage in my rib cage, both so strong that i feel them like static at the tips of my fingers. 

there are no soldiers - no fighters to welcome us as we near the heart of the palace. the cold dances its deadly waltz atop of my skin, barring what little warmth there is left. 

"it's deadly silent" apollo notes, taking his bow and arrow out and ready to fire at any of the zeus worshippers. "pun intended". 

flags and curtains, both black as the darkest nights above athens, when even the stars fear what lurks in the shadows, cover the stone-built walls, the breeze lifting them and putting down afterwards, allowing for slivers of light to enter in the hallway we're in. 

"it might be a trap" ares replies, sword steady and set to cut his enemies apart.   
what happened between me and cal, the torn bond still eating away at my insides, affected him as well as it did apollo, but it's his anger that i focus on easier, because it feels like the right thing; zeus has taken what is mine, and i shall give him hell for it. 

i am without weapons - they're unnecessary because i myself am the weapon. static turns into silent whispers of lightning, sparks dancing beneath my skin, dancing with the hatred brewing in my heart, ready to leave my hand on command. 

at last, we enter the main hall. 

there are trails of blood before my feet, greeting the cold within my bones with terror well-expected; the same blood covers the curtains that hang from the high walls, their perfect black sprayed with a promise of doom and demise. 

as i raise my head from the sight at my feet, i'm met with what has left ares and apollo speechless; at the very center of the room, there is a throne, its material being skulls of the deceased, the grim shadows on the bone as wicked as their new ruler.  
he sits at the top of the dais; his white hair is that of a lion's mane as he drinks wine darker than my blood when i was inhuman, a crimson crown of olive branches sat upon his head. 

a cruel smile twists his lips into a grin as terror spreads across my body.   
all the gods are here - all of them shackled, glowing, hot iron slashing their wrists and ankles at every move as they rise their heads to look at us. all of them are torn from where they belong in the outside world, all of them forced to live here and remain, so that he could wreck any chaos he desires on Olympus.

aphrodite's golden hair, that looked as if the sun had turned its light into rivers flowing from the crown on the top of her head, has been cut - barely reaching the line of her chin, its remnants spilled in a sea of gold all around her. her eyes have sunken in, the cheekbones more prominent than i remember from all the times i've seen her with cal. 

hephaestus, who built the rings for apollo, crafted them finely with his precise fingers, looks at his hands now covered in nails and shards of metal, each of them digging into his skin, each more and more painful to look at as pain twists his face into expressions that will remain in my memory for long after all of this is over. 

demeter is chained with thorns, crimson blood falling in ponds before her, and all the other gods - hundreds of them - are too scared to even look in our direction. 

"at last, you come" zeus says, to none of us in particular, "my two sons and the mortal whore, all to meet their end at my hand here - in the underworld." 

i should be afraid - i should be terrified, for a god is threatening to kill me himself, but instead, i feel pride - i feel what cal would've felt and thought of me, so i straighten my back, lift my chin and look him directly into the eyes, whirlwinds of madness resting beneath their cold exterior. 

"you're one to talk" i say, the brothers looking at me with their eyes wide open. "half of this court would've been empty had it not been for you being unable to keep it in your pants." 

i should be scared for my life is what one of the prisoners whispers to whatever forces is listening. he is right - i should, but i don't; not when there is no more cal for me to love. 

i'm met with a thundering laugh from the god of lightning, the ruler of Olympus, the merciless zeus himself. 

"courage is an act to be appreciated" he says. "but it will do no good to you here." 

he gestures to a tall, broad-shouldered man whose face remains unseen under the black cloak he wears, and the man brings him a sword, its edges sharp and their glint the color of cal's eyes, but what makes my stomach turn is the sigil on its handle - the owl's eyes.   
it's athena's sword, i realize.

_love was your savior_ , a voice tells me, and another adds, _love will be your demise_. 

"father, please" it's apollo's soft voice who calls out for reason and peace, "let them go - let _our family_ go. you have us, the usurpers you wished death upon, and we surrender willingly."

_please_ , he calls - beggingly in doing so, almost dropping to his knees - _please don't be the monster everyone sees you as_. 

but zeus doesn't listen to the plea; no, instead, he looks at both myself and ares, from whose sealed lips no words spill and the crimson eyes have enough rage to set ablaze fields of wheat. 

the king of the gods hits the top of athena's sword against the black tiles, who look as if they've been cut out of cooled magma itself, and two figures appear before the dais; the cloaked figure, and another man - another god - with strong, broad shoulders, muscles strong and carved out of the strongest material known to olympus.   
his hair is like that of zeus, white like the ocean's foam when it meets the shore, but shorter and more tamed, but it's the eyes, their cerulean blue color that gives away who he is before he pulls out his signature weapon - a trident. 

_poseidon_ , i hear ares whisper for the first time since we arrived. the blood in my veins wishes to boil as a white grin appears across his damned face. 

the second figure that appears before the dais is the cloaked figure, and as he removes the cloak, a head of hair as black as the night herself and olive skin appear. his eyes are dark and his face expressionless, but nonetheless regal - like a king.   
the gods beside me seem to recognize him immediately, i notice by their shifting in place and the worried look on apollo's eyes and as he whispers his name with a sense of terror on his lips, shivers begin rattling in my spine - the cloaked figure is hades himself. 

"a war you have wished for" zeus says, turning to us in his throne, "and a war you shall receive."

between the six of us, only two seem eager to fight - their grins are vicious and thirsty for blood, their eyes left with no mercy; zeus and poseidon, but it's from my hands that lightning begins brewing, the familiar feeling of a thousand bees buzzing beneath my skin, all until it gets too loud, and the ground beneath my feet roams with thunder as bolts of lightning leave my hands with one goal - not to maim, not to wound; to kill. 

electricity ripples through the air as zeus catches the lightning - catches it with his bare hand - and for a second, looks victorious as his brothers and sons look at him, but then the rage from my heart, along with the flicker of apollo's power seem to overpower even the oldest of spells that guard him, and a loud, sizzling noise is heard; he releases the lightning into the open sky above him, and reveals a hand of burnt skin, welts now gracing his fingers and blood starting to draw from where the lightning hit the hardest. 

apollo and ares look at me in the same awe i would look with if i could see my reflection as i realize it: my powers aren't here just to protect me - they're here, stronger and more merciless than ever, to extinguish the life in his mad eyes. 

all hell breaks loose as zeus, still cringing and holding at his burnt hand, yells an order: "kill them!"

the shackled gods start running and screaming, all of them seeking shelter from the upcoming war - the one at whose helm i stand, my lightning screaming to be released from underneath my skin. 

_for calisthenes_ , i whisper as the lightning takes shape of twin blades in my hands, and start running into the battle.

apollo and ares each take on a god - ares unleashes all the rage that brewed behind the calm facade of a warrior, anger drawing blood on poseidon's face, arms, torso and legs with every strike of his blade; apollo and hades take it in a different, almost beautiful direction; no blood is drawn, as hades is preforming before zeus to keep persephone safe, and so their blades clash against each other, sparks flying around them. 

as lightning ripples through my veins, my eyes meet with those of zeus and what looks back at me isn't madness - it's fear. the blades in my hands rush into the sky as i clutch my hands and release them again, and as zeus looks up - his lightning nowhere to be seen - my bolts of lightning return, encasing the six of us in an arena of lightning and blood. 

he stands up with the sword in his hand, and throws it to the side, outside the borders i set. good, i tell myself, at least my death won't be at the weapon of the one i love. 

an invisible force wraps itself around my body, picking me up and crushing at my chest. i look at zeus, trying to summon my lightning, trying to free myself, but all i find is a void inside my body and the twisted laugh on his face. _i wasted it_ , bitter realization kicks in. _i have no more lightning left_. 

the punches from the invisible force, carved out of his own wickedness, begin. first at my eye, and i already feel the blood running down my cheek, then at my nose, which begins bleeding as well in less than seconds, and then it goes onto my chest. i feel something cracking - a rib, hopefully - as it nests its malice within my body with every touch of its cold, heartless hatred. 

the grip around me releases, and i fall onto the ground, mere breaths away from passing out. 

_let us in_ , a voice says. _let us lead you through this fight_. 

in the midst of my nearing death and the feeling that i'll lose control over my body anways in a few moments, i do it - i've got nothing to lose. 

a feeling of rumbling and pulling together floods my body; i can't describe the force whose presence i feel as anything else than ancient and enraged, rage as i have never known it...

zeus lays his hands out towards the ground, and the skies scream with ungodly terror - he's summoning his lighting stronger than i ever did; stronger than any inhuman ever could.   
the electricity ripples through the air and i feel it underneath my skin, in every organ and every vein. nausea rises in the pit of my stomach as i clench my teeth and look up to the skies; 

what once were bluish, calm skies, now are flashing battlefields, the lightning so strong as it rips through the clouds that it makes the entire sky seem as if nothing would ever exist where the delirious god's lightning was birthed. 

it descendes right towards me, and apollo shouts in warning, but i don't have the time to reply - the bolt arrives quickly, hitting my laid out palm as i turn my eyes away. it doesn't burn me like it burnt him - it doesn't hurt me at all. 

the next time i open my eyes, my feet no longer are touching the ground - the lightning and i have become one, and it listens not to his command; only to mine.   
that's why, as he tries to collect its strength and summon it back into his hands, he fails; instead, i form chains from the lightning, chains that greet his neck in immediate burns and charred skin. 

he screams, but i don't let go - i pull him towards me, no longer in control of my own body; i have become a vessel for the lightning he misused and abused for too long, a vessel for the lightning that wants revenge as badly as i myself do, if not even more. 

i stand behind him, the collar of living lightning now gripping at his neck - burning his vocal chords with every move of my hands. the gods look at me, look at who i've become when our rage became an ocean in which any humanity has drowned. 

"gods" a voice speaks from within me, echoing as if three speak at once, all of them female and as merciless as zeus himself while their power climbs up my spine, intertwining our beings as one. "hear us!"

apollo and ares look at me in shock and worry, poseidon's cerulean blue eyes now devoid of color and hades' olive skin ashen as he seemingly freezes in place. 

"fox cooper has become a vessel for our power" it says, "and we shall use him to inflict justice on those who deemed themselves as worthy of controling fates.   
we shall kill to teach you, and those whom we leave alive to bear the remembrance of our might, will pray to have been slain alongside their loved ones."

"who..." zeus strains what little was left of his vocal chords, gripping at the collar of blinding lightning as he claws out a path for his words to follow, "are...you?"

the voice speaks once again, heartless cold nesting itself within my veins. shivers cascade down my spine as the words leave my mouth in a steady, yet almost screaming manner, both cold and burdened with emotion at the same time:

"we are the moirai."

_**chapter twelve** _

blades drop from the frightened hands of the olympian gods, anger and fury, rage and bloodthirst in the arena disapating as my throat rumbles again. 

"we are the fates" they say, "we are the three sisters - clotho, lachesis, and atropos - who thread the destiny of every being in this and every other realm. your king has locked us in tartarus, but as the arrogant fool he is, he's forgotten that our power runs deeper than corporeal."

"spare him" poseidon says, "spare my brother!"

a deep, heartless rumble echoes from the bottom of my throat. "foolish god" the voice says, "we have taken this body to teach you a lesson: the rule of the you arrogant, selfish gods is over."  
  
"in blood" my lips speak but the words aren't mine, and neither is the control over my hands as they place them over zeus's eyes.   
a sense of dread ripples within me, partially because i know what they're about to do - i feel it, feel their anger - and partially because i don't want to stop them, not after everything he's done. "the new era of olympus shall rise."

lightning gathers at the pits of my palms, heating up and zeus, as little as the men he dishonored, begins to try and free himself from my grip, but he fails; the collar of lightning has burnt his vocal chords, so as he opens his mouth, a scream doesn't escape - something far more primal, far more animalistic does until it's drowned out by the urge to rip my hands from his forehead. 

my body has become a vessel for their rage, a hangman of their law, which is why i don't tremble or doubt myself for a second when they press my hands against his eyes and the lightning comes to life. 

something twists and turns at the pit of my stomach at the sound of his eyes sizzling under the living light, and it only gets worse when smoke appears as well. he tries to scream, tries to beg for mercy, but no voice leaves his lips - he's at the mercy of the goddesses he wronged, and if they unleash even half of their rage... the king's plea for mercy will be a beggar's wish. 

and then i feel something cut through me - my breath runs short and blood begins climbing up my esophagus. it's boiling with rage, and as my eyes lock with the object that's now piercing my stomach - athena's sword - the grip of zeus is released, and his body feels limp in my hands as it slips onto the dais. 

if i were human, this wound would've killed me.   
if i were powered by the flicker of apollo's power only, i would be injured severely.   
but i am none of the two; i am become one with the fates, a weapon of their own; which is why, upon gripping the tip of the sword that's now coated with my own maroon-colored blood, the steel melts within my hand. 

my assassin gasps behind my back, and a cruel and twisted smile cares itself into my lips.   
as i turn around, the hole within my stomach rewiring itself and healing with light incarnate, my eyes are met with those of a madwoman, the same look zeus has had in his before i scorched them out of his skull. 

"hello, hera." an ungodly voice speaks from the bottom of my throat, and the expression on the redheaded goddesses face turns into that of a doe scared for its life.   
i feel their malice and revenge bleeding through my veins, thicker than my own blood and my own power, as my fingers wrap themselves around her head, tucked deeply into the mane of auburn hair. 

her hazel eyes look at mine, seeking for any sign of humanity, but all they find is a pit of deadly rage. lightning ripples through my hands, capillaries snapping and collapsing under the weight of the power that now surges through me. 

she begs for mercy like zeus himself did, a _coward, coward, coward_ as each of the three sisters within my head says. that's when i realize it - their voices are the ones who have been speaking to me all this time, the silent chatter at the back of my head, the voice of reason. 

but there is no reason nor silence when their power breaks free and the twisted court goes silent as hera screams in agony. the smell of burnt hair makes my stomach turn and urges me to vomit, but their power keeps me in place; as the power burns through her skull, what once was a mane of beautiful, auburn hair is now but a few brittle strands of charred hairs fighting to stay atop of her barren scalp, her hazel eyes seeking mine as if to beg for mercy one final time; and they don't find it. 

disgust and horror fill my entire body as i realize what is about to happen, and when it finally does, something within me breaks; the insides of her skull have become liquid, spilling through her nose and gaping mouth as her eyeballs turn black. 

with the corner of my eye, i notice people emerging at the entrance into the court. it's not something i would've noticed myself amidst the horror unraveling through my hands, but as the moirai assist me, i notice it's not the shackled gods - it's four people, three women and a man, one of the women holding herself with both hands onto the man, and the other clutching her arms around those of the second woman. i recognize them immediately, and joy wants to spark within my chest upon the realization that he's succeeded, but the ancient power within me is stronger than my own emotions. 

even with their primordial rage surging through every sliver of my soul, i notice his silver eyes as he holds onto his mother. i notice the terror in them, the disgust at what is happening, and my stomach sinks as i realize it - he is looking at me as though i am a stranger.   
my heart shatters, and for a second, the fates allow me to gasp as myself and not as just a vessel - as if to say _your purpose is fulfilled_ \- and i immediately release hera's charred skull from my hands, the sight of her pearl white teeth being the only remnant of her former beauty burning itself into my memory. 

her lifeless body falls down the dais, rolling itself to the soles of poseidon's feet, but it isn't myself who kills him - in a way that the threaders of destiny have intended, a way that i myself would never recover from seeing, let alone doing; it's the god of war himself, swinging his blade at his uncle's neck. 

he looks at me - at the fates - and nods, to which my body acts as a vessel once more - it nods in approvement, a satisfied grin on my lips. i walk down the stairs of the dais, the twisted court in silence as the lightning that encased the fight and turned a court into an arena now returns to my hands. 

power ripples in the air around me as i walk, feeling dozens of eyes at every breath i take, and head to the newcomers - to athena herself. 

"fox" she says, her voice tired. the horrors of tartarus are strongly visible - her skin is almost gray, the circles under her eyes darker than her hair, cuts and bruises sprayed across her face and body as though an artist had splashed them onto her with a brush. "you defeated them."

as our eyes lock, she seeks happiness in mine, but finds none - finds nothing. it's ares who says, "it is not him, sister. the moirai are using him as vessel." 

horror spreads across her eyes, and the look that cal gives me, the anger and hatred i feel from him... my heart shatters completely, and their grip on my body eases - disappears.   
at last, i am my own again. i fall to my knees, sobs immediately breaking through. 

apollo takes me into his arms and i weep for the horrors that have been done with my hands, cursing at the power in my veins, cursing at the fates and gods - at the entire world.   
my stomach twists and turns as the events roll back in my memory, and it takes all the strength of this world to raise my head and puke onto the ground instead of into apollo's lap. 

he strokes my hair as i grasp a breath, his gentle touch sending comfort and light down my back. he's healing me with every breath he takes, all until the point where i'm no longer nauseated, where my own body doesn't wish to rip itself apart in ridding itself of the blood on its hands. 

artemis and apollo tend to those in chains, while calisthenes helps athena and hades doesn't let go of persephone not even for a second, praying for her forgiveness and promising her to be by her side until his last day. the former prisoners, persephone after she'd kissed her husband and promised the same to him, sit and lean against a wall, the same way apollo has done with me.   
i sit beside the goddess of wisdom with my eyes shut - aware that i'll see him the very second i open them again, and not even apollo himself will be able to heal the scars on my soul when cal looks at me as if i'm a stranger - a killer. 

she seems to notice it, so instead of speaking, she takes my hand. the same hand that killed in ways i could never comprehend, the same hand from which i will never wash the blood away. 

"i am aware of the sacrifice you made to save me" she whispers after a few coughs. "i can't thank you enough, fox. i couldn't show you the depths of my gratitude even if i thanked you from this day to my last." 

no words part from my lips. a part of me is selfish - regrets the sacrifice i made, will regret it every time he looks onto cal's side of the bed and sees it empty. 

a wave of light showers the court in warmth through the open roof of the palace that looks skyward, its intensity strong to the point where i'm blinded by it even through my closed eyes. but even with my senses agitated, my eyes closed and body exhausted, i sense their familiar presence: a trinity of power, birth, life and death incarnate, descend from the sky. 

i open my eyes to see them - in their golden robes, with their beauty unspeakable of; even the most beautiful word would do it injustice, and as our eyes lock, i stand up immediately. 

anger roars through my veins as i stand before the dais at whose top they stand. "fuck you!" i scream at the top of my lungs. "fuck you for making me do all those horrible things!"

one of the three sisters, with her hair as dark as styx itself, descends the stairs. atropos, i recognize - i recall her presence in my proximity. death incarnate, with eyes of rubies and lips of molten gold. 

"i am sorry that you had to witness that" she speaks gently, but assertivly.   
"my sisters and i will be eternally grateful to you for allowing our rage to take shape in your body and do what needed to be done."

"he's just a kid" a familiar voice speaks behind my back, "you could've used me, moirai." 

ares stands at my side now, his crimson eyes rimmed with tears as he looks at me once more. "hasn't he given enough already?"

another sister - with hair the color of molten stars, eyes a blue i've never seen. lachesis, i recall. 

"he has, indeed, god of war." she speaks calmly, yet poison rims every letter that parts with her red lips. "but every other outcome would've ended with your fates worse than their own."

she continues, "my sisters and i have been doing whatever we could to make it easier for you to win - removing cerberus from your way, weakening poseidon and zeus, enabling the power to run through fox's veins once more. had it not been for that, we would still be in tartarus, wilting at his sentence, and you would all suffer fates worse than death.   
you felt it, haven't you?"

she looks to me, and in the pit of my stomach, at the restlessness of the horrors that have found shelter in there, i know the answer. a slow and painful death would be the highest mercy if zeus had the upper hand. 

i nod in confirmation. 

the thrid sister, clatho, descends the stairs as well. every move of her body is as swift and graceful as none of the gods would ever be able to replicate, her chestnut hair falling in soft curls over her shoulders, soft lips and gentle eyes gracing her beautiful face. 

"as a sign of our gratitude, my sisters and i would like to grant you a wish of your choosing - whatever your heart desires most, be it of olympus or earth."

ares looks at me with a swift nod of his head, a hurt smile on his lips. "you deserve it" he says, putting his hand on my shoulder. 

whatever my heart desires most, her words ring in memory. the list of dreams to be fulfilled and the wishes to be granted is endlessly long, sure, but only one of them stands out - only one of them is my heart's truest desire. 

i glance over at cal, who's ready to defend his mother from anyone in this room, his silver eyes strong and beautiful as he himself is. i make the most of the moment - soaking in all of his presence, memorizing every line of his face. 

"him" i say, and our eyes lock with something other than disdain for the first time,  
"grant him happiness and love for the rest of his long life. that's all i want."

the broken expression on the god of war's face stings my eyes even more as tears begin to fill out his own, and their crimson color looks like the most beautiful rubies. "fox..." he wishes to comfort, i know, i see it on him, and i know it in my heart that he'll wish for me to ask for a different wish, but i can't - i can't risk the chance of him being broken and hurt and myself not being there to comfort him. 

_if i can't have him_ , the thought solidifies, _then he deserves a chance to enjoy all the beauty and all the love of this world, because sooner or later, i would've broken him the way i break everything i love_. 

the three sisters exchange a glance, and nod in confirmation of my plea. "as you wish, fox cooper" clatho says, "you shall receive." 

i look at him and he greets me - for the first time, greets me and looks at me as if i'm more than just a killer - with a soft smile and the wave of his hand, and i wish for the earth to swallow me whole. maybe i shouldn't have let them take over my body; maybe i should've let the lightning scorch me like it did with hera - it would be less painful. 

but as the three sisters begin chanting, a familiar feeling lurks at the pit of my stomach. it rumbles and echoes throughout my whole body as it climbs up my spine, all the way to my heart. i feel it, and so does he - _so does he!_ \- as he looks up to me.   
something snaps into place, a connection, a familiar feeling - _a bond_. 

"no..." i turn to them in disbelief, unwanting of hope before i know it's for sure. i meet each of their eyes, look at each of them for an answer, and it is clatho who speaks. 

"you've given us more than we've dreamt for, lightbringer." my new title echoes in my head as i anticipate for the part that matters the most to me. "the least we could do in return is take back what the guardian of tartarus has taken away by force."

my knees buckle, exhaustion kicking in as i struggle to take a breath. he's back, i say to myself, my cal is back - i extend my hand for ares to hold me, but another takes his place. 

a familiar, soft skin at which tears rise in my eyes. i'm scared to look, scared of the thouht that i've died and this is just a dream, scared that he won't be mine again when i turn my head.   
but he senses it, senses my fear, and replies with a kiss on top of my head.   
_i am yours, my love, and yours only_ , the familiar voice says. _from this day until my last_. 

tears become stronger than any will to keep them imprisoned, and as if it were gravity pulling me towards him, i lean onto cal's chest and start crying. i break down, letting all the pain and disgust out, letting all the emptiness be fulfilled as his arms wrap around me and the familiar scent of his skin fills my nostrils. 

he whispers promises of our future together at my ear as i weep silently, wrapping his hands around my head and lower back as he heals the pain with soft kisses at my temples, and with every one of them, i feel lighter - i feel relieved of a burden; _i feel saved_. 

"So", it's Ares who asks, mine and Cal's fingers intertwined and my head on his chest, his chin resting on it. "What happens next?"

_I missed your scent_ , I whisper down our bond to be heard by no one but him, _and your touch, and the your beautiful eyes shine now that Athena is safe_.

_And I missed your hand in mine_ , he whispers back, his voice fulfilling, dark and charming; every bruise seems to mend as it passes through me, showering me in comfort and peace. _I missed your chuckle and the way you lean your head on my chest, just above where you reside inside me – over my heart_.

The Fates look to Athena, the Goddess propping herself up on the shoulder that Apollo holds as they stand next to Cal and me. An old, knowing smile spreads on Clatho's face as she turns to the god of war.

"Athena is a just goddess; wisdom and grace shall rein her rule over Olympus as they did before the war. And as for the rest of the pantheon, my beloved warrior-god, an era of healing is afoot. There were casualties, too many of them to be swept under the rug and moved on – as the Weavers of Destiny, my sisters and I promise you a time of peace and prosperity for the foreseeable future."

Ares and Athena exchange prideful looks; the two have succeeded in their rebellion – the tyrant is dead, and even though his death has been at my hands, it has marked the beginning of a new era.

I grasp firmer at his hand as flashbacks of earlier today begin coming up, my insides starting to turn, but he raises my head from his chest and with a glance of his rich, silver eyes and a kiss of his soft, angelic lips, he tucks them away, deep into the pits of my soul.

_Healing indeed_ , I confirm Clatho's words.  
It will take time, which is for sure, but until then, until the nightmares begin ripping me from my sleep...   
I have him by my side, and that is more than I'll ever need.

We turn around as the sisters begin to vanish in rays of golden light, their goodbyes becoming the chatter of the birds. I stand in awe at the thought of birds in this cold, damned place, but then I feel it; the scent of beautiful roses and ripe fruit floods the twisted court, a warm breeze and the smell of sea following.

Cal's eyes meet mine in a soft, satisfying light. "Look over there" he says, taking my hand.

As I do, my eyes are met with the sight of doors open to a little piece of heaven. The skies are a pale pink, sunrays breaking through, as chatter of birds fills the room with warmth and hope.

Persephone stands before the door, Hades, who has greeted me with a nod once the battle was over, holding her hands. He is her anchor to this world in the same way Cal is mine, and seeing their eyes gleam with gratitude and happiness fills my heart with joy.

"People of Olympus" the Queen of the Underworld calls in her beautiful voice, "my husband and I are aware of the tragedies that have befallen upon us – we've experienced it on our own skin."

The hairs on my arm rise. They've been separated for what accounts as months down here – I've spent half a day without Cal, and even that was too painful.   
  
"There's nothing we can do to take away the horrors of what we've experienced these months, but what we can do is promise you a safe haven in our own little sanctuary; my brothers and sisters, Elysium is yours as it is my own."

Cheering and clapping ensues in the twisted court, those who were in shackles now happy; the light in their faces, the hope – it makes me realize that it has all been worth it, all the pain and all the hurt.

Artemis and Ares are helping Aphrodite to stand, and the faint smile and grateful nod to the royalty of the Underworld make my heart beat a little faster.   
Beside them, Demeter looks at her daughter, whose cheekbones are as prominent as Athena's, whose eyes are sunken yet hopeful, with her golden-brown hair ruffled and out of order and even despite that, she truly looks like a queen. Tears arise in the proud mother's eyes as the cheering continues.

"And we shall not forget" it is Hades who speaks, his voice deep and elegant, sophistication accenting every word, "the young man who has aided us in this victory. He has made sacrifices many of us wouldn't have for people who aren't his own and has fought Zeus himself to save us all."

Silver tears begin rimming my eyes, heart pounding fast and steady as he continues.   
"Fox, you are from this day a part of our family; my nephew – the prince's – beloved, and as such, you are welcome to our court, to enjoy it as though it is your own.   
Long may you live, Lightbringer."

The crowd behind us cheers, some even going as far to repeat his last sentence – but what makes the dam that holds my tears back finally break are the faces of the children saying it as well, the radiance in their little eyes, the way they look at me despite the wounds I bear, despite the blood on my hands.

Apollo, Athena, Artemis and Ares all cheer as well – and between the two male gods, I don't know whose joy is greater; that of warrior who had my back in both battle and outside of it, or that of the sun-god who healed me and gifted me hope when not even I myself believed there could be any.

_I think they love you, Lightbringer_ , he teases me down the bond.

_Do you love me more, prince of Olympus?_ I ask, a smile curling the edges of my lips as we head towards the temples of Elysium.

_That is not a title I'll get used to easily_ , he admits and a chuckle escapes him, _but if you ask me again tonight when we return to our room... I'll give you a proper answer_.

The smile spreads into a grin after I steal aquick kiss from his lips and send down the bond a thought better left unspokenof – one that makes his cheeks blush.   
  
  


**_EPILOG_ **

„You slept through the night“, his voice is a soft whisper on my ear, his strong arms wrapped tightly around me. The gentle sound of it sends a feeling of warmth and comfort through my entire body, and I first reply with a kiss on the strong knuckles of his hands that I bring to my lips.

„I have“, I reply gently. Turning towards him, I’m met with the most beautiful set of chestnut brown eyes, the soft light of an early autumn morning basking them in gleam; with the softest lips, whose healing touch I recall as I think of last night, and the sea of soft curls atop of his head.   
“I don’t remember when I slept this good, to be honest. It must be those kisses of yours.”

I trace my thumb lightly over his cheek as it lifts with the smile that warms my heart like nothing and no one else ever could. “Then we should make it a habit for every night” he says, those devilish dimples appearing as my fingers get lost in his hair. “And maybe even some additional action.”

A chuckle escapes me, and I notice his eyes rim with silver. “I’m glad that you’re healing” he says, and as he blinks the few tears away, warmth rises in my chest.

“Me too” I reply, sliding my hand from the back of his head to the middle of his back – it’s warmer under the covers, and it draws out another smile from his lips.

Light rain showers the windows, autumn having already settled into the forest visible from our bedroom window. The golden leaves remind me of Apollo’s eyes, and the crimson ones of those of Ares.

We’d left Olympus three months ago by Earth’s time, residing in Athena’s house in the city before we returned to the states in early September.   
We stayed for the rebuilding of the temples, despite the fact that they wouldn’t let us do much working – the prince and the Lightbringer were seemingly spared of such mundane duties – so we spent our nights in the palace and our days with him being my tour guide on Olympus, telling me stories of and showing me the places he used to play at as a kid.

It took some time for Athena to heal, too – Cal had asked me if I wanted to leave earlier, to go back to Daisy and Tony, but I couldn’t allow myself to take him from her when I still saw the haunted look in her eyes after Tartarus. She and Ares ruled together for now, until she’s recovered enough to do it on her own.

Apollo spent some days with us, teaching me how to use his bow and arrow and telling me embarrassing stories of Cal’s youth, supplying me with enough material for teasing to last a lifetime. The other days, he would spend his afternoons with the kids, teaching them of poetry and sculpting, and on warmer days of the Olympian spring, gardening; they’d planted a beautiful garden of hyacinths in the palace’s botanical gardens.

“It’s really beautiful out there” Cal says, and I nod in confirmation.

“Do you feel like having a picnic in the hills today?” I ask him, and with a broad smile, he agrees. It was his idea to come here for a few weeks by the end of last month, and as October bathed New England’s scenery in rich colors of golden, crimson and orange, I have never felt more peace.   
  
Ever since, we’ve been staying at an old inn that an associate of his friend’s owns; spare for us, the sweet, elderly couple who runs it and the occasional over-night customer, it’s a calm place.

“We can go after I ask you something” he says. I turn to him, and see that a more serious, even tense tone has settled over the divine face. I trace the tips of my fingers across his light stubble, nodding. “I’m all ears, babe.”

A nervous smile straightens his lips. It’s something important to him, and as he rises from the bed and leans onto the headboard and I do the same, I already suspect it. The topic has come into conversation a few times across the months, and each time, his face would take on the seriousness it did now.

From the drawer of his eggshell-blue bedside table, he takes a vial.

I notice the design, with royal crystals crowning its top, forming a colorful bracelet around the cork as the sun greets its insides, which are a rich, maroon color.

“Is that the…”

“It is” he confirms, handing me the vial. I take it, admiring the craftsmanship of the vial and each of the diamonds – each fit for a royal, a prince; a status he would be giving away upon drinking the contents of the vial.

A look at his eyes tells me everything – he has thought this through, calculated every risk, every possibility, every casualty, and by the glint of his chestnut eyes, he’s still willing to drink it and to become mortal – ordinary – like me.

My powers had gone silent again, this time for good; a flicker of a god’s power isn’t meant to last forever in a mortal body, and for the second, more definite reason Apollo, along with the best healer of Athena’s choosing and myself have decided: I didn’t want them anymore.   
  
I didn’t want to bear a weapon of destruction underneath my skin.   
I didn’t want a reminder of it – rainstorms were enough as it is when it came to lightning.

Something remained, though – the only good thing to come out of my powers being revived; the unbreakable, beautiful bond between us, a bridge between our souls and our hearts.

I rest my hand at his cheek, restlessness settling in my stomach.   
“Cal, I have to ask you one last time.”

I don’t even have to say the words that tangle inside my skull, the concerns and fears and future regrets I dread of living to see. But I don’t have to speak – down the bond, he hears them as well, if not as loud and clear as I do myself.

He takes my hands, looking at me with the most beautiful pair of eyes that set my world ablaze each time they meet mine, and it’s as if everything around us ceases to exist.

“You are” he says simply. My heart begins pounding, its beat pulsing in every capillary of my body. “You are worth of giving up my immortality.”

“You’ll grow old” I say. “Your family-“

“ _You_ are my family as much as they are, Fox.” His eyes are crystalline, and down the bond he says, _please don’t think of yourself as of anything less ever again, because in doing so you’re hurting me as much as you are yourself_.

Silence falls between us, even though we’re less than a meter apart.

_They are my family by blood, but you are my family by choice – you always will be._

Despite the hardest of my efforts, tears well in my eyes, a few escaping even, too fast for me to wipe away. He puts his hand on my cheek.

“I will always choose one good lifetime by your side than countless more anywhere else.”

Words fail to form on my lips, but I still reply – with a kiss that I hope expresses what I feel; the gratitude, the love, the fear and the happiness of what comes after he takes it.

“Okay” I finally manage to gather myself together as he continues wiping away the tears from my eyes. I give him the vial with a gentle, careful smile on my lips, anxiety rising in my stomach. “I want to be there when you do it” I say, and he nods.

“But that’s not what I wanted to ask, by the way. This was more of announcement.”

I feel my eyes widen through the burning sensation of spilt tears. “Wait, what?”

He chuckles, the sound of this beautiful, crazy man’s happiness becoming my favorite sound in the world. “You’ll find out today.”

“Cal.”

“During the picnic, I promise, I’ll tell you during the picnic.”

“I won’t be able to eat if you don’t tell me.”

He laughs. “Well, if nothing, you’ll be easier to carry back home in case you pass out.”

I cross my arms over my chest, and am even tempted to go as low as to pout, but he still doesn’t break – he’s holding back a laugh when I look him in the eyes with the most convincing sad puppy eyes I can pull off. _Damn it, you’re good_.

_The best_ , he confirms as our lips meet again. _You get ready, and I’ll phone Betty to pack us a picnic basket_.

Our lips don’t part until I hit him gently in the shoulder. “You’re a tough nut to crack, Callisthenes King. I tried to get the information out of you with a kiss, but you don’t break.”

A proud grin flashes his white teeth as he giggles and says, “And I saw right through you.”

_Evil_ , I say down the bond.

_And you love me for it_ , he replies.

I steal another kiss and head for the bathroom.

*

The burgundy sweater I bought him last week fits beautifully on his broad chest, the lapels of his grey coat being a stark contrast. The colors go beautifully with his golden-brown skin and the soft, pink color of his lips peeking out of the light stumble on his prominent jaw.

“Have I ever told you how pretty you are?” I ask, teasing him by holding a cracker with warm, molten brie on it before his mouth and taking it away before he bites, altogether three times before he eventually catches it. He shoots me a wicked, satisfied glance and a grin.

“You have” he says, lying down onto the multiple blankets we’ve laid out on the ground, nestled between two large roots of the pine tree. “Not verbally, though – you sometimes forget to close your side of the bond; mostly when I’m coming out of the shower.”

I gasp audibly, and he chuckles. “And you wouldn’t think to tell me to close it?”

“Well”, he dips another cracker in the brie and eats it, “what can I do when I love the sound of your voice even when you don’t speak with it, Mr. Cooper?”

_Very, very mature of you_ , I tell him down the bond, and he snickers.

“Now that I have eaten, and you’ve witnessed it” I point at the crumbs of the tomato-and-mozzarella-covered bruschetti on my lap, “am I finally about to hear your question, my little narcissist prince?”

He puts his sparkling water with strawberry and agave flavor to his full lips, and I send him another thought down the bond; the fizzy drink sprays out of his mouth and a loud laugh escapes my throat.

“I deserved that” he says, wiping his mouth and then his black pants.

“Definitely” I agree, straightening my own outfit – black pants and a sweater of the same shade, paired with a beige coat of the same style as his, with narrow, sharp lapels.

“Okay, I want you to close your eyes.”

I narrow them instead of closing them completely, and he laughs quickly. “Close them or it doesn’t work” Cal says.

Unwilling to suppress my smile, I do as instructed. His fingers find mine and he traces them gently down my hand all to my wrist, shivers dancing under the skin on my back.

Cal pulls my hand closer to himself, and I hear something rattling in the pocket of his coat.   
He must’ve noticed the light frown I’ve felt my brows slide into as I tried to figure out what it might be, and thus sent the familiar, loving warmth down the bond that always managed to set my tensed muscles back into a relaxed state.

Something cold touches my hand, and as he tells me to open my eyes, I notice two silver keys – ordinary keys, like the ones I used to copy way back in my criminal days in Seattle, like the ones Daisy uses to unlock her house.

“I love them?” I say warily, and he laughs. “I do, seriously – the color is really, uh… wait, is this your way of saying I’ve got the key to your heart now?”

He pulls a quick grin, saying: “You’ve had it since the first day we met, Foxie.”

I dangle them in the air, and he chuckles some more. “Remember how you asked me if I still wanted it all with you back in Olympus?”

I recall the scene with ease, thinking of my head on his chest – daydreaming of a future that seemed like a bittersweet wish that’ll never be fulfilled: the two of us growing old together in a small city in New England, owning a little bakery and talking walks on the coast and in the forests, having picnics in the fall.

It didn’t take me a while to realize that we already were living that dream, spare for the bakery part, but after taking a look at the keys in my hand, a realization snapped into place.

“No” I say, disbelief unable to hold my lips back from spreading into an even greater grin, “Cal, no, you didn’t –“

“You said you liked the little inn we’ve been staying at” his voice is soft, his eyes sincere. I look at him, at his big and goofy smile, at the chestnut eyes I wish to wake up to every morning.

“Cal.”

“Don’t worry, Ahmed and Betty won’t be homeless – he practically handed me the keys after I one morning mentioned how much you loved the place. He and Betty spent years wanting to finally live their dream; travel across the country and stop in every bigger city and buy souvenirs for their grandkids, but they didn’t have the heart to close the inn.”

“So you bought it?”

“Tony pitched in a little; he did _not_ let me do it by myself. I see where you get the stubbornness from, Lightbringer.”

His name echoes in my ears. “Tony” I say as if I need confirmation, and he nods, “Tony was in on this?”

“Oh yeah, him and the Johnson-Rogers family” he adds, and shock straightens my spine.

“Daisy was also in on this?! How long has this been in the making, Cal?”

He chuckles. “Ever since we came back to the States” something within my chest starts breaking as I look at the man next to me. “I knew Manhattan wasn’t somewhere you’d want to stay that long after what we went through this year, and I knew how badly you wanted this.”

“So, I gathered Daisy and Tony one day, and we began planning then” he continues. “Tony loved the idea, and so did Daisy – but she did threaten me, though.”

“With what?” I ask through a laugh, silver beginning to rim my eyes.

“Well, she said that I can’t ask for her little brother’s hand and go through without a speech of very, _strongly_ descriptive ways in which she’ll quake me apart if I break your heart.”

Something he said echoes in my head; _…ask for her little brother’s hand_ …

I look at him, and his eyes are sharp but teary as well. “It’s not for marriage” he says, “not yet, at least – I remember you said you wanted a family one day, and so do I, but we both need some healing and time to us alone first.”

Tears begin welling in my eyes as I look for his. I have to put a hand over my mouth – _a family of our own, a family with him_. He wanted all these beautiful things, planned for them, and here I was, still questioning if I’m good enough for him to give his immortality up for me.

He takes my hand, kissing every knuckle. “So, what do you say?” he asks with the same, flirtatious smile that stole my heart all those moons ago.

“Do you want to spend the rest of our mortal lives with me, our little bakery and the family we’ll one day have?”

Screw holding back – I burst into tears right there, at the sentence that’ll burn itself into my mind for eternity, nodding in confirmation, saying yes when I catch a breath between the kisses I pull him in for.

_I want nothing more_ , I say down the bond. _You, me, our kids and this place – I want you by my side, and I’ll want you there for every day until my last_.

I feel his lips pull into a smile, and as I part from him, I see the tears in his eyes as well, some having already spilled over his cheeks. Heaven lies right before my eyes, and never has it looked more beautiful than it did now.


End file.
